04/08/2022

When the new terms and conditions came through, they were as bad as expected: all employees were required to donate their right arms to the company. This was due to a global shortage of right arms, which was due to some shit somewhere that no-one could do anything about.

Line manager Lee got the team together for a meeting in the storeroom. 'I'm really sorry guys, it's come down from head office, there's nothing I can do about it. Believe me, I'm as upset as you are, but I'm powerless and they've dropped me in it too. It won't be painless, but as respected members of staff if you sign up I can sort out a deal for you, with compensation, anaesthetic and some other things. On the other ha- oops, sorry, bad phrasing - alternatively, if you don't sign it'll only turn out worse for you: I'll probably have to cut off both your arms,' he makes a grimace, 'because apparently they can do that and it's all legal.'

As a group of workers, do you: 

a) Do as line manager Lee says, sign the contracts and let Lee cut off your right arms ('this is hurting me as much as it hurts you...') so you can barely function, let alone meet your picking targets, while Lee swaps his right arm for a high grade prosthetic paid for by the company and gets his bonus and his loft conversion, or; 

b) Tell Lee to either back you up or fuck off, confiscate his saw and stop work until the chief executive commits to either cancelling the carnage or having his own limb severed on the premises? 

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