Mr Duncan Smith, in the spirit of accountable and transparent government I believe the public has a right to know the contents of the £39 breakfast which you consumed at our expense.

 

Did you plump for the smoked salmon option? Or was it a full English? If so were the eggs scrambled, fried or poached? How many sausages? Are you a black pudding man?

Was the service satisfactory? What thoughts passed through your mind as you devoured the warm chunks of flesh?